It is Plain Truth number 100! Time to celebrate!!!
Relationships are a great thing. But the problem with having relationships is that many want to “misdiagnose their situations”. You have people claiming relationships and truly are not in one. Or you have something worse: people with “friendships” doing things that happen in full blown relationships/love affairs. You would think people would get tired of doing all of this silly stuff. Yet, they continue with the foolishness.
Maybe, this time around, I can guide someone to the light.
But that is wishful thinking.
Question:
I have met someone I cannot stop thinking about. I really want to tell her how I feel but do not want to scare her off. We have met up a few times and really connected and opened up to each other. I have had 2 serious relationships in the past, but have never felt so strongly so quickly. She said she is attracted to me but sent mixed signals about wanting a relationship. I held back because I didn’t want to pressure her but I want her to know I am interested. I am always worried about coming on too strong.
It has only been 3 to 4 weeks. We have met up about 5 times. We have had lunch, taken walks on beach, and the last time we slept together.
What should I do?
Answer:
Honestly, you should just ride the wave on this one. You are the only one actually being up front and real about the situation. This is what I mean: she needs to recognize the issue on her own. You want more. She does not want more. The only problem is that the “more” that she is trying to shy away from already exists.
Thus, she is only left to do one or two things: embrace the situation or run away from it.
The Breakfast Club is still a classic. This scene is just a small percentage of the vintage greatness.
I am going to make this one a little personal. I have been in a situation like this 4-5 years ago. I was involved with someone that wanted to do all the relationship things without claiming it for what it was. We had fun times, a great communication realm, and phenomenal sex. Yet, when things got thick, she bailed on the situation.
After I started communicating less, she got mad because we were supposed to “be friends”. “Friends” don’t stop communicating just because the physical becomes cut off.
Forget all of that. We were more than friends. We were lovers. No bitterness, though. I learned a dope lesson from this: only get with those that are willing to walk-the-walk with you. If they can’t recognize the situation for what it TRULY is, then you don’t need to deal with them.
Is this what you want: a situation of greatness ending because she didn’t want to realize the greatness of its potential?
The answer is probably “no”.
This may be what she is going through with herself. Or this may be you talking about her.
So, she needs to make a decision: either she is going to shit or get off the pot. As a human being, she needs to recognize what the relationship is or she needs to get out while she still can. She doesn’t want things getting anymore heavier than they are if she is going to play a rolling stone like a father to The Temptations. She may need to consider that “high road” if she does not understand the calamity she can cause with her indecision. She is a big girl wearing her big girl panties; she now needs to make big girl decisions.
This is a damn good movie if you want to study how love and infatuations motivates us into bad choices.
As for you? You just make sure that she understands the situation at hand. From there, she needs to figure out what she needs to do so she won’t have you out there playing yourself. You aren’t Matthew McConaughey in the film Mud. You are not here to save her just for her to shun your love and care. She can’t appreciate you? Then she can appreciate you not being there.
‘Nuff Said and ‘Nuff Respect!!!
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